5. Be assertive, but not aggressive
When talking with your roommate if the conflict has gotten to be too much or has not improved, how you talk with them matters. Be aware of your tone and how you are coming across to them. If they sense hostility, they will also be likely to retaliate by yelling back at you or get defensive. Even if they deny that they haven’t done anything wrong or disregard your complaints, stay calm. It might feel cathartic to take out your frustrations, but there are better ways to get it out. Stand your ground and let your voice be heard.
6. Spend less time in your room
You do not have to deal with the conflict if it is draining too much of your energy. If you have tried talking to your roommate and there’s no improvement, it’s best not to be surrounded by that negative energy. Once you have woken up and gotten ready for your day, do your best to avoid coming back to your room if you can help it. Pack everything you’ll need for classes, meetings, etc. Eat your meals at dining halls, find somewhere to study, and spend time with your friends. You might not get a chance to nap unless you find a corner somewhere in the library where no one goes. This is not a defeatist approach. If you have done everything you could to handle the conflict, you shouldn’t dwell too much on trying to change them. Only be in your room if it’s necessary and hopefully, the room will be empty and you’ll be alone.
7. Talk to your RA
It’s the RA’s job to be there for you and your needs whenever you need them, especially issues with your roommate. Set up a time for the two of you to talk about the conflict and they will help you figure out a way to resolve it. If it involves having a guided mediation, then so be it. It might be weird or juvenile, but having your RA present as a third party gives an outsider’s perspective which can be helpful to get to the root of the problem. Involving your RA also lets them know what is going on, so they can follow up with you throughout the year.
8. Move out if you can
Moving out should be a last resort after trying to handle the conflict. If absolutely nothing works and they simply won’t respect your needs, it’s best to just move out if you are able to do so. It doesn’t have to be personal, sometimes people just don’t work well together or live different lifestyles. It will give you at least a peace of mind knowing that you won’t have to deal with the conflict anymore. Talk with your RA and see if there’s a space available within your residence hall or at another building.